Screen Time: The Modern Hypnotist

Have you ever noticed how walking behind someone who is on their phone feels different? Their pace seems slow but erratic. You don’t know direction they are going in. And you don’t quite know how to move in response to them.  It’s a feeling similar to driving behind a distracted or intoxicated driver.  

Our phones have become like a post-womb umbilical cord. They keep you connected to others, help you plan your life, document the big and small moments. They even track your biometrics! These incredible machines are the conduit between you and the world and they require a lot of your time.  

Technology was supposed to be the salve for time inefficiency, but it seems to have created a whole new dilemma; Ask anyone how they are doing and quickly reference themselves in relation to the passage of time. You hear things like, “January felt strangely long but February is flying by” or “the weekends just go by so quickly but weekdays seem to drag by.” Time: you either seem to have too much or not enough of it.

Another time culprit is social media. One of the most common things I hear in my practice is how people are losing track of time due to scrolling on social media.

How often do you find yourself on your phone scrolling, searching or watching something only to realize that way more time has passed than you realize? Where did the time go?

To quote the Culture Club, “The time has nothing to show…And time won’t give me time.”

The Hypnotic Effect of The Screen

Looking around, it’s inescapable to see how absorbed we are on our screens. Online shopping holds the promise of acquiring something new and exciting. Your next romantic connection or sexual hook up is just a swipe away. Or you can get mass scale validation by seeing how many ‘likes’ you got on social media. While these are all rewarding experiences, they also don’t involve the direct experience of human interaction. Most of the time you end up feeling much less connected after pulling a shift on your screen; Especially being on social media.

What is the power of the screen when us humans have evolved to seek human connection and attachment?

It’s common knowledge that they design apps, social media and games to be highly addictive and we also know how much our brains are wired to seek reward. But might there be something else happening?

If you are feeling such disconnection and dysregulation after clocking so much time on your phones, what is it that’s pulling you in?

Here’s my thought: screens (displaying social media, apps and games) are not only addictive, but they are hypnotic.

Part of the reason you lose time is because you are in a trance state.

Instagram might be more aptly called Hyno-gram.

First Comes Absorption, Then Comes Trance; Then Comes The New the Plans in Like Glue

In hypnosis, when you’re in a state of absorption, you are deeply engrossed. Absorption is a precursor to being in a trance state.

When you are in high absorption you tend to feel the following:

1.      Focused Attention: You tune out distractions, allowing yourself to concentrate fully on what’s in front of you

2.      Altered Awareness: You might experience a reduced awareness of your environment or a dissociation from physical sensations, leading to increased suggestibility

3.      Emotional Engagement: You may experience intense emotional responses to what you are absorbed in

Do these traits seem familiar to you when are glued to your phone?

Screens put power in your own hands. You can create content or just get lost in the world of whatever entertains you, stimulates you or the promise of novel rewards.  Your brain gets a free buffet of mood-altering neurochemicals. This grabs your attention and makes it even more of a focus point. The deeper you go, the more absorbed you get and when you get that deep, you get into a trance of your own creation.

In trance, you are also highly focused, engaged and this state of being can release endorphins and feel like it’s reducing your stress.

Let’s face it. We all need an escape. Back when I was a kid, the commercial that symbolized escape was Calgon bath bubbles. I remember the woman in the bathtub saying “Calgon, take me away…” It was a simple proposition and one that didn’t end with feeling exhausted by screen time or creating incessant desire to have what you see on the screen.

Calgon has gone down the drain and today we have evolved into ever more potent ways of rewarding the brain. From new drugs, to gaming and to apps like TikTok, your escape hatches are more powerful than ever they end up leaving you in a state of wanting more.

And with the power to be in whatever world we choose through our screens, real world seems like a lot less of a compelling place to be.

The world doesn’t always meet you on your own terms. It can be too loud. Too crowded. Too boring or too unpredictable. But by having access to a world of your choosing, you can decide whether you want to be entertained, outraged, turned on or zone out – the digital world is uniquely yours. You get it the way you want it.

Humans are built for attachment. Period. We will attach to things be it “good” or “bad” for us..  

Hypnosis and the Power of Suggestion

Trance states are hypnotic states where you are most highly susceptible to suggestion.

Watkins (1978) wrote that “suggestion” is one of the most powerful approaches in psychotherapy as it shows how powerful the “human relationship has in eliciting change.”

Suggestions can be constructive or destructive. Comments such as, “You’re lazy” or “You’ll never amount to much” uttered by a parent or someone who holds power in your life are suggestions that can wreak havoc on your life once you’ve internalized them and repeated them, creating your own internal trance state.

I can attest to the power of suggestion because it’s actually what led me to become a therapist.

Many years ago, I was working as a CEO’s 2nd Executive Assistant in an incredibly stressful work environment à

la the Devil Wears Prada. After many months of feeling exhausted and defeated in the job I was and looking for an out. That was when Assistant #1 turned to me one day and said, “You have your BA in Psychology, right? You should get your Masters and become a therapist.”

That was my epiphany moment. One constructive suggestion resonated with me and I thought “Yes, that is what I need to do.” I knew that was the next career step. Talk about the power of suggestion - And I wasn’t even in a trance state!

The trance of social media can plant many suggestions about what makes you live a valuable or exciting life. We see products that tell us “you need this” or you scroll endlessly on Instagram getting absorbed in lives curated by people selectively posting their best photos from their best moments where they are usually airbrushing or cropping something out.

I am not on Instagram but when I look at people’s feeds of fashion, beauty and celebrity it usually takes me less than a few minutes to feel like I’m lacking in some way and I’m not enough. And to give credit where credit is due, memes can plant constructive suggestions. They are succinct and powerful in their messaging usually about affirming something that puts things in helpful perspective.

As with many things in life, few things fall into a binary of ‘bad’ or ‘good.’

The genie is out of the bottle and it’s inevitable that we will be pulled in and absorbed into our screens. But be aware that your escape can also be the breeding ground for new messages. And you ultimately are the gatekeeper.